The above picture is a pretty good analogy of me and Pats. Pats is tall, super glamorous, never leaves the house without her "eyes" on, has her hair done on a regular basis, has a cracking sense of humor and knows absolutely that she is always right all the time! She is my very best friend and I love her dearly. I am small (5'0), embrace fashion and new trends the way Edina does, never quite hitting the mark, and quite often behave with Bubble and Squeak the way Eddy does with Saffy (It's rather pathetic really thinking about it.), and like Eddy I shall be horrified if Bubble and Squeak become solicitors or work in the city!
The bestie is on a mission, she thinks we NEED a night out and we absolutely HAVE to go to some 1980's themed party. Absence is not an option where Patsy is concerned and her campaigning efforts to get me on board with it are relentless. Both being children of that time - we know all the music and can have a very good time dancing to records we still play today! I tend to avoid parties and nights out these days, not because I have turned into a party pooper or hermit like recluse, but because the politics of being a single women in her mid 40's grinds me down. Woe betide you if you talk to someone elses husband for more than 4 mins and 30 seconds, you start to get funny looks, people relentlessly team you up with a "spare" man who invariably has some tale of woe about his ex wife or beloved which you are expected to sit and sympathize with (I have my own tales of woe and I DO not want to talk about them on a night out when I am supposed to be having fun), conversation with wives and girlfriends leaves me bewildered and a little lost that this is what real life is all about these days, I don't go on 3 holidays a year, have a new car every couple of years, constantly revamp the house having new kitchens or bathrooms, nor do I have a list of "ailments" or womens problems that need sharing. I often end up feeling like a billiard ball bouncing around the room in an effort not to cause raised eyebrows!
Anyway on to fashion, Patsy's 80's campaign involves lengthy discussions on what we all wore in the 80's. I dig out some old university photo's. I was wearing black leggings, black boots, a long grey tee-shirt and a waistcoat with a scarf around my neck. I look at the amazing creation I am wearing today - Black leggings, black boots and a long grey tee-shirt with a scarf! (I did consider a waistcoat this morning but thought it was a bit formal). This worries me a bit as I am either super trendy or have like Miss Haversham in Great Expectations been stuck in time for the last 30 years! Even I realise that turning up to a 1980's themed party, looking like you look like every day is a fashion no no!
I google "fashion trends in the 1980's" this brings up lots of pictures of the "Dallas" and "Dynasty" type outfits, Joan Collins with big shiny shirts and shoulder pads that make supermans shoulders look small or Crystal Carrington in sparkly floor length "Jessica Rabbit" type dresses. There seems to be a lot of the Madonna look in Desperately seeking Susan (lace and leather) or the brightly coloured dungarees that kids TV presenters all wore. I am not sure I ever bought into any of these looks, and although my street cred is minuscule I am not about to lose what little I have left being a Joan Collins lookalike, or a loud and scratchy childrens TV presenter!
I look at play lists from the 80's trying to find some kind of definitive look that I can at least stomach, Duran Duran, Adam and the Ants, Bannarama, The Bangles, Bonnie Tyler, Aretha Franklin, Queen and David Bowie. INXS, Stray Cats and Blondie, Tina Turner, Cher and Culture Club. All of these great bands and singers had some kind of look, but I am not at all sure a very small, dumpy 40something could ever carry them off. Can you really see me with a Tina Turner wig on, black leather mini skirt and 6 inch stilettos? I would look like Aveline the wannabe model from the 1980's sitcom Bread! Rumor had it back in the day that Cher had had her bottom ribs removed to give her her an amazing figure - mine is definitely not so good. Neither am I wearing a white nightie a la Bonnie Tyler and waiting for a hero! I fleetingly consider a shell suit and trainers - but have no desire whatsoever to look like Jimmy Saville or the scousers that Harry Enfield used to send up.
What I will eventually end up wearing remains to be seen, how we will walk in stilettos after spending years in wellies, flip flops or boots, running after kids and dogs like some deranged lunatics is another story entirely, but you can be very sure that the bestie and I, like Patsy and Eddy will end up having some kind of disaster!
Thanks for reading x
