My head is mashed - completely and absolutely blown with all the things I have got rolling around and going on at the moment.  None of them are my things really, they belong to the kids or other people but as the leader of this particular orchestra it's down to the band leader to get it sorted. I am a single mum of 40 something years old - If I am honest I am nearer 50.  I have two children at primary school (one heads off to high school this year) and I do everything.  You can never explain to someone who has not been a single parent how hard it is - to keep all those balls juggling in the air.  Even my bro (who I love dearly) does not get it - he thinks and says I have been a single parent for 10 years, so really you just doing what you have always done!  I beg to differ:

I cook, I clean,I  keep a rather messy house, I have a stupid dog (who is not the loving companion you imagine when you get a dog but hard work) I do the DIY, (I DO THE FRIGGIN DIY!), I try to make enough money selling tat to keep us afloat. I do the washing, the Ironing, the bloody gardening, I change light bulbs, I change fuses,  I sort the bills out, I arrange haircuts, Dr's and Dentists, I sort play stuff out, I keep my kids on track at school with reading, and tables, and topics,  and SAT's - I indulge my children's obsessions with art or Lego or Minecraft.  I encourage them to keep relationships with their dad and family members.  I stay up till all hours talking to my kids helping them with their woes and worries. I spend endless amounts of time worrying, I am tired all the time,  there is no one else to balance out all your hopes and fears, no-one to take the kids to the park, or for chips or for a bike ride - I do it all and I work bloody hard to be a parent!  

School sucks!

School takes up such a large part of my life when it actually is only 6 hours of my day.  The obligatory school uniforms, PE kits, fecking healthy packed lunch boxes and reading diaries are the norm, Bubble is off up to high school this year and that brings us a new set of challenges, but....... on Friday we are officially wagging school!  

How does that work?  School is on strike on Thursday, it's an inset day on Monday. So I officially asked for a day off on Friday. We are going glamping again to Grandma's caravan. The official line is : "Your request has been denied but you will not occur a fine on this occasion!" 

I  ask for one day off - to fit in around what the school has already planned.  I don't take my kids out for extra days, take them out for shopping ,or trips to Lapland to see Santa,  we have not had a snow day since I can't remember (the High School is always shut when it snows, primary stays open). I don't book holidays outside of term time. and I have just realised I am on a rant again instead of this post being the rather apologetic " I'm sorry I have not written for ages, and I have loads of things going on, and I am busy, and I am hormonal, and I have loads of excuses......"  School on the other hand plans and organises my children's lives on the assumption that I am legally and contractually obliged to go along with what they have planned because it is the best interests of my children.

Excuse me?

Both my children could read and write their letters before they started school, I know this because I sat for hours with them, and we enjoyed that time.  Both my kids have their times tables off by heart, because I have done that,  Grammar wise they are both pretty good because their mum can be pretty friggin pedantic at times and their general knowledge is amazing.  This I know because I drag them round historic ruins every chance I get, talk to my kids at dinner time about their day, and we even listen and read along to books on tape, rather than just watching a film.


This was supposed to be a rather apologetic post apologising for not posting for a while,but I promised to write again, and this is where my head is.   My 11 year old son had a clip round the ear this evening.  He had been to his dads and I had been to the caravan to photograph a spare awning I have to put on ebay,  the conversation went as follows

Bubble:  Have you been to caravan this weekend mum?

40something: " yes I took aunty Liz cos we were sorting the  awnings out"

long pause...................." "where did you both sleep?"

40something rolls eyes -  "in the double bed love."

Bubbles eyes light up  "Am I going to have two mummy's?"

40something:: "No darling you are not - but I hope when you bring Sebastian or Tristan home to meet me, you don't think I am giggling in a corner, I will be fine meeting your boyfriend or girlfriend"

Bubble considers the implications of this - snorts in disgust and strops off to bed.

Thanks for reading