Owning a Patterdale terrier is not for the faint hearted!
If there is one thing about my life that brings me more grief and mither than anything else it's the bloody dog!. The delinquent belongs to Bubble, and he came for Christmas a few years ago when my little boy wrote his letter to Santa. There were two things on his list, a box of Lego and a dog. Ever game and wanting to keep the magic of Christmas alive for another year, I bounced off to find a pup.
The delinquent came on Christmas eve at six weeks old and my life has never been the same since. For anyone who ever watched the sitcom Shameless, the delinquent is the Frank Gallagher of the dog world. There is nothing he won't rob or steal, every piece of poo he finds, cow, fox or horse he either eats or rolls in, he has issues, is an accomplished escape artist and is rarely if ever sorry. He adores bin day, deliberately cocking his leg on every single wheelie bin he can find on his morning school run, and likes the recycling boxes even better! He also comes from working dogs, needs a lot of exercise and thinks nothing at all about killing anything small and fluffy.
Walking to school involves taking a short cut over a brook, I used to let him off the lead so he could bounce about, and clip him back on at the other side, not anymore! There is a lady at the end of the road who keeps chickens, periodically they escape and wander about generally having a very good time. However, one particular day I was running to school to get Squeak when we came across the chickens all over the brook, not only did the delinquent chase one back to the coop, he then proceeded to shred it, in front of the owner. She was upset, I was devastated, there were tears all round. It then got worse when she told me she had raised this chicken from a chick and was a rare heritage breed. I offered to replace the chicken, she refused but said we could make a donation to a local dog rescue place. I bought flowers and a card and considered donating the dog! (Bubble donated £10). The delinquent is still not sorry and looks longingly at the chickens every time we walk past on a very short, very robust lead!
One of the delights of living in a small village is that a lot of the shops are dog friendly, you don't have to tie them up outside, and generally they keep a doggy treat or two behind the counter. Our local hardware shop is just such a place. The delinquent loves this shop, (he loves Bargain Booze for the same reason!), and will crawl on his belly all the way if he thinks there is the remotest possibility of a fuss and a treat. I have however banned him from ever showing his face in there ever again. This particular day we had gone in to get something but there was unfortunately a bit of a queue so we had to wait our turn. This meant no biscuit or fuss, instead of being a nice dog and making his mummy proud - he proceeded to demonstrate his disgust by cocking his bloody leg all over the lawnmower display in the shop! To this day I don't think he "gets" why I was so traumatised!
Last winter it snowed a lot. I set off to dig a path to the gate, and the delinquent had a really good time playing in the snow. I turned round and found him digging a hole under the hedge, I thought nothing more about it till I looked up and found him batting what I thought was a muddy football around in the snow. Closer inspection revealed a hibernating hedgehog! This then created all sorts of problems. If I put Mrs Tiggywinkle back in the hole, I just knew he would dig her up again, if I put her in a box in the shed he would find her, and no way, not ever was I having her in the house. I phoned various friends who have horses to see if they could adopt her, all to no avail. I considered phoning the local otter sanctuary or the RSPCA. Finally I put Mrs Tiggywinkle back in hole he had dug, covered her over the best way I could and left her to take her chances. The delinquent was then banned from the front garden till the spring. The last time I checked she was not there so fingers crossed we will see her again.
The best Halloween we had that the kids remember involved the delinquent. Halloween is a big deal here, with people decorating their houses, and kids of all ages turning up for "Trick or Treat". This particular year my neighbour had had a very large broken down shed removed and there was a rats nest underneath it. The delinquent had long ago found a way through the hedge and often went to visit the old guy when he got bored with my company so finding a rats nest for him was like all his Christmas's coming at once.
Squeak had her costume on ready to go out playing trick or treat and Bubble had a zombie mask on waiting to hand out sweets to anyone who came. Everything was ready and for once we looked like we were quite a nice normal family. Then it all went horribly wrong. The door was being knocked on every few minutes, sweets and candy were being handed out and the delinquent was in the back garden. (See - I can have a normal family life!) Next minute he trots proudly into the kitchen carrying the biggest dead rat you ever seen. Cue screams and profanities from me, Squeak laughing her head off and Bubble opening the door to two of the most angelic little witches I have ever seen, they must have been about 4 years old. Bubble presents the bowl of sweets while I rush past with a dead rat in a dust pan! ........... Trick or Treat anyone?
He does have his good points, and I don't think any of us would be without him, except perhaps sometimes....... when chickens, hedgehogs, lawnmowers or Halloween happen!
Thanks for reading
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